Kiwis and Fairy Bread

22 September 2025

As Mr Elliot of Persuasion pronounces, “Bath is incomparable.”

Our morning would be spent in a literal bath, at The Thermae Bath Spa. https://www.thermaebathspa.com/

We had pre-booked a two hour session at 42 Pounds each ($56.00) that included full access to two hot mineral pools plus an array of steam rooms, saunas and showers. It was worth every single pence.

Checking in at 9:30am we were each handed a towel, a robe, an electronic wrist band, a locking pouch for our phones, and no upsell. I was honestly expecting a special offer on a salt and lime body scrub followed by a hot stone massage, or at the very least as paraffin hand peal. Refreshingly, we were simply pointed up the stairs to the changing room.

There is a strict No Cell Phones/No Cameras policy here. The receptionist actually watched as we placed our phones in the pouch and it locked shut. I was surprised to find myself a bit worried to be so detached from my phone. What if my family needed me? Relax Ellen. This is what the morning is all about.

We changed into our “swimming costumes”, donned our robes, stashed our stuff into a locker which could be locked and unlocked with our wrist bands, and took an elevator to the roof top pool.

It was heaven.

The thing about a hot pool is that you walk right in. No inching in or plunging under to get your body used to cold water. It is immediately warm and comfortable. One side of the pool bubbled up in a froth. In a corner a fall of hot water showered down in a powerful stream. It massaged our necks and shoulders. There was a slight current to the water, moving us along as we floated. Steam rose into the air of a clear blue sky over the Bath skyline. A bright green park beamed in the distance. People chatted. A sunglass-wearing attendant stood near a signing warning guests against undue noise, jumping and over-amorous activity.

After a half hour soak we donned our robes again and went down a floor were we explored a variety of rooms. There was a steam room (too hot even for me). A sauna, where I loved how the heat seeped into my bones (this is what I dream about in January, I told Mike). There was an ice room where the fog was so thick I could not see my hand in front of my face. A trench was filled with crushed ice (It was all too freaky for me). There were showers of various temperatures. And, our favorite, The Celestial Room. This dark space boasted a dark ceiling and walls twinkling with stars. Calming music hummed as a video screen showed pictures from NASA of exploding stars and bright nebulas. The half dozen loungers were heated. Ahh…..

On the ground floor we enjoyed another, larger pool, this one lit with large windows and decorated with palm trees. Flourishing script on the wall extolled the virtues of the naturally warm water containing forty-two different minerals. Two thousand years ago, Romans bathed in these same waters (those Romans keep popping up, don’t they? One never really thinks about how Italian England actually is)

Back up to the roof pool, one last visit to the Celestial Room, and our time was up. We took showers with the provided shampoo and soap, changed, turned in our robes, towels and wristbands, at which point our cell phone pouches were unlocked.

Now, what to do when one is so thoroughly relaxed? Go for a cup of hot chocolate at Knoops. https://knoops.com/uk

Knoops (pronounces Ku-hoops) is a chain that sells just one thing: chocolate drinks. One chooses from a menu of dozens of hot or iced chocolate beverages ranging from white chocolate to milk, dark to 100% cocoa. The staff was very friendly as they helped us make our choice. The drinks are simple: shaved chocolate of your chosen variety is put in a cup with milk and heated. It arrives steamy and frothed.

Mike went for the 49% Venezuelan, I for the popular 54% house blend. WOW! Mike’s was complex, we could indeed taste the notes of coffee, molasses and pecan. Mine was more well rounded. We sat, sipped and thoroughly enjoyed both. Later in the evening we would return to share a cup of 70%, and to buy a tube of that 54% to take home. Oh please, please, Knoops come to the U.S! To the Northeast! To Somerville!

We were feeling quite tired. Not only were those mineral baths so relaxing, but the slight current made it also a bit of a work out. And then that warm chocolate! So we just sat and people watched for a bit.

But we were in Bath and, as Mr Allen says to Katherine Moreland in Northanger Abby “Resign yourself my dear. Shops must be visited. Money must be spent”. Sadly, I saw no millinery for a new ribbon or bonnet, nor a boutique where I could find a “fine sprigged muslin” and order a custom dress. There were however plenty of stores with vintage clothing and gifts. A violinist played Vivaldi’s Four Seasons in front of the Pump Room and we quite enjoyed his performance. We had not the desire to actually go into the famed Pump Room, where Jane and characters took the waters. It would have required we spend 50 pounds each on afternoon tea. That money had been much better spent at the spa.

We were in the square to join The Mayor of Bath’s Guides, who give daily free walking tours. Richard, our local guide was part Michael Palin part David Attenborough. For two and half hours he swept us through the streets of historic Bath filling our heads with anecdotes (he once had Derek Jacobi on a tour). Architectural details (the buildings are all made of Bath limestone in the Palladian style). Historical facts (the city was twenty feet lower when the Romans bathed here, 2,000 years ago. The River Avon covered it all with it’s silt except for, appropriately, the bath). The nasty bits of the Regency Era (mostly, people smelled bad). Buildings with historical significance (like our guide’s school, that once trained WWI soldiers) that are so tied up in bureaucracy they will likely remain empty. And more celebrity sittings (Russell Crow’s double jumped off that bridge for Les Miserables)

We learned that the waters have been curative for eons. A leper may have been cured in 4000 BC. The Celts gave the city its name for washing. In the late 17th century Queen Anne believed it cured her gout. Architects then arrived to build for the fashionable people to take the waters. Turns out it’s not just hot and mineral-laden, it also has lead and a slight radioactivity. So although it helped some, it killed many. The waters have now been cleaned up a bit.

Unfortunately, The Assembly rooms, where Jane Austen and her friends and characters danced, had just closed for restoration. Must be amazing to attend a country dance there! I do hope Sarah did.

The tour over, we went out to dinner and walked home passed streets that gave names to Jane’s characters (Mrs) Russel Street and (Jane, Lizzie, Mary, Kitty and Lydia) Bennet. Time to pack for our return home on the morrow.

I slept imagining hot steam seeping into my bones.